Installment Twenty

"Remind me again who Thomas Patterson is, dear."

Edna was checking in with me as she has been doing regularly in recent weeks. Instead of phoning, my amazing octogenarian former mother-in-law just drove herself in from Montreal, claiming she had other errands to run in Ottawa.

"Thomas and his wife Marion were lifelong friends of my parents, Edna. Thomas joined the Foreign Service with Dad. When my parents were killed, the Pattersons were abroad on posting, but came back to Ottawa immediately for the funeral. It was Thomas who delivered the eulogy."

My eyes started to well up at the memories of that funeral. Do we ever recover from the loss of our parents? The short answer: no.

"I can see why he means so much to you, Joelly. Is there a chance I might meet him while he’s in town? I know my son has been a schmuck, but I would like to prove to him the Schuster family is not entirely heartless."

"You are anything but heartless Edna! I don't think you will get a chance, though. He truly did fly half way across the country just to give me a hug."

And a cheque. Even retired expats living on Vancouver Island apparently hear the rumours, in this case that I was left financially challenged.

I was too embarrassed to tell Edna about the money since I was still on her payroll too. Eventually, I will have to tell her. It just wouldn't be right to withhold that kind of information. Who needs to eat anyway? Potato chips are cheap.

"Joelly, I know how much you hate to talk about money..."

Oh no! Not again.

"...but I have been having meetings with my accountant and laywer. Nothing to worry about dear. But I want you to be honest with me. How much money did my son embezzle from you?"

Dear God. How far can I fall?

"Edna, he didn't exactly embezzle...that's harsh...I was complicit by not asking questions."

Martin blew through my entire inheritance, the compensation I received from the trucking company that owned the vehicle that hit my parents’ car and killed them, before we had even been married ten years. I didn't learn this, though, until I left him. Who exactly was the real schmuck?

"How much?"

Do I tell her?

"A lot of money, Edna. Can we just leave it at that? I can't afford lawyers to fight this and to be fair it's my own damn fault for not paying attention. I trusted him."

"And now, Joelly, you are going to have to trust me. How much?"

"Several million dollars."

She was so quiet I started thinking, great, now I have given this wonderful kind woman a stroke!

“Edna?"

Her face looked awfully red. How do you know when someone's brain is about to blow?

"Well," she said finally, "that just confirms the decision I made recently is the right one."

"What decision?"

"I have re-written my will to make sure my grandchildren are taken care of when I pass. Martin, however, is in for a big shock when he receives the letter I just had sent from my estate lawyer."

"Edna, what on earth have you done?" Her estate is a multi-million dollar one. I was relieved to hear that Deborah and Brian will benefit, not that I ever had any doubt.

"I have cut him out of my will. After my favourite charity, you, my dear, have become my main beneficiary."

WTF?