Installment Forty-Eight

As my new BFF Carolyn Morrison had only recently remarked, funny how life and people can turn out in ways totally unexpected.

Naturally, I thought the visitor I was really awaiting--the one I was all dressed up for--was finally after all these years, going to be standing before me in a matter of minutes.

I was dead wrong, of course, because so far, my life was playing out like a cancelled situation comedy.

"Mother! What the hell are you doing here?" TBM shouted at Edna.

My mother-in-law was only one step ahead of her breathless granddaughter who had run up the stairs. Unable to reach me by phone the evening before, Deborah had called her Grandmother. Edna had hightailed it from Montreal at first light.

I want to be able to hightail it anywhere at her age. Hell, I want to just reach her age.

"Is that any way to greet your own mother?"

"I get it," I finally said. "There's a hidden camera somewhere and this pleasant scene is going to end up going viral on You Tube."

"What’s You Tube?” Edna asked innocently. "And does viral mean I need another flu shot?"

"Mother, be quiet. Deborah, help your grandmother sit down. Joelly, make us all coffee."

“Will you just shut up!” the Greek chorus of his women shouted at him.

Martin's jaw dropped.

Shocked to have all of us turn on him like that at once, his face looked contorted. He wasn't used to people ignoring his orders. I expected that arrogant reaction. What happened next, though, was completely unscripted. It was as if the director in the background yelled 'cut!' because Martin fell to the floor in a heap.

OMG.

"Deborah, call 911!" I shouted, even though she was standing right beside me.

"That won't be necessary," said his mother, calm as ever. "Look, Joelly, he's coming around now. He just had the wind knocked out of him. Your father hasn't had a heart attack, Deborah. Martin. Martin. Can you hear me?"

"I’m all right Mother," he said standing up. "Don’t fuss. I was just overwhelmed for a second. I'll be all right."

"Here," I said, handing him a glass of water. Oh how I would have loved to throw a bucket of it over his head.

But the scene didn't need any more drama. In all the mayhem, none of us had noticed the apartment door had opened again. Two more visitors were standing in the doorway, taking in the confusion.

"Sean!" Deborah said, running over to her fiancée and clinging to him for dear life. "How long have you been standing there?”

"Long enough to see your father faint and your mother look like she was about to douse him with water. Joelly, are you all right?"

No, I certainly was not all right. It was my turn to let my mouth hang open.

"Hello, Joelly. It's been a very long time, hasn't it love? Sorry to meet again under these circumstances."

No sound came out of my mouth.

"Hello Gabe," I finally managed to say, in a whisper. "How lovely to see you again."