Installment Forty-Three

Well, I bit the bullet and met up with my old high school classmate/nemesis Carolyn. Turns out, she is a civil servant, working in the city-formerly-known-as-Hull across the river from Ottawa which I caustically called Hell in an earlier posting.

But it still isn't heaven either. We had chosen to meet for a quick bite in a pit of a food court in one of the indistinguishable cookie-cutter federal government buildings along the main drag. I was meeting nearby after our lunch with my handler at CIDA which incidentally stands for the Canadian International Development Agency and not some cute initialized text-speak like:

"OMG!!" which Carolyn actually said, along with "You are all grown up!"

My suspicions about Facebook and the veracity of its profile pictures were confirmed when I saw her. The picture on her profile page must have been taken at least twenty years ago. She hasn't just grown up, she has grown out (as in, fat, yay!) and looks older than I do.

I hadn't felt so bitchy since I left the expat world!

Before I could start dishing out long-overdue nastiness, I was cut at the knees by her incredibly distressing life update.

"It is so good to see you, Joelly! But I can tell you're shocked by my appearance. I have been very sick the past few years. Steroids do it every time, pump you up like a balloon! Before you ask, yes, it's cancer.”

Before I could even say how sorry I was or ask what kind of cancer (and smack myself for being so catty, even if it was in my own head) she continued to make her story even worse, if that was possible.

"Absolutely everyone, including my husband, abandoned me. We never had kids and most of my friends...well, let's just say they couldn't handle my illness."

OMG is right.

She started speaking again but I was lost in my head, trying to recite my gratitude mantra.

"...so, what's your story?” she was asking me when I brought my mind back to the moment. "You look terrific, by the way."

I almost burst into tears, the shock of my emotions overwhelming me. What could I possibly have to complain about, ever? And did she really think I looked terrific?

I enjoyed one of the best hours of my life since running away from Beijing. We both clearly were in need of some serious laughter therapy and neither of us cared if people were looking at us. I thought she was going to have to excuse herself and go to the Ladies when I told her my Alan Fucking Goldstein story.

"He was such a nerd back then, wasn't he? You just never know how life will turn out, eh?" she said, without a trace of bitterness.

I wanted to tell her that it was even more amazing how people turn out, but I just nodded my head thinking I might start sobbing again like I had done in Dr. Larry's office.

"Do you remember how awful I was to you when you first came to school wearing a bra? God I was so mean to you. And you had barely gotten over the funerals of your parents. Can you ever forgive me for my behavior?"

Yes, Carolyn. In a heart beat.